as The year 2011 is coming to an end, i thought i have to write something about it ...
first to say, it was an exhausting year, full of tension, anticipation, thriller & hope ... on personal base it suffices to say it was sad!

i dont want even the last words written in this year to hold anything from above, no politics, no talk about revolution, no talk about personal resolutions, nothing of those classical stuff ... so i decided to talk about something totally different... i will talk about Perfumes!
well, maybe not such a useful topic for anyone, nothing deep, or brainy, but should all the writings be as such! ... it's just a selected page from a diary, a step of something has shared with me the places and events of this year which i wrote it down with all its details, from events & timings to the surrounding atmosphere, its soundtrack & scent!

I love things differently ... i call them names & give them meanings, beyond what they may have to hold, link them in networks & let them build relations ... those 3 perfumes i picked are not my best, it's hard for me to put a best in the category of perfumes cause i have many to call a favourite ... so i will talk about 3 specific perfumes i used them the most, & they were filling my atmosphere during the days of this year ... and with them come the notion!

each one of those perfumes, had a story connected to their names, and putting them together they, complement each others, some days i blend them all and use them, cause i like unique scents, and their different classifications make them compatible forming a full circle of perfumes categories ...

Viva LA Juicy  ( The Fruity )

 it's just a brand name and for me it means live the Juice of  life... the concentration of this life ...
most of my favourite perfumes are of classical bottle shapes, so i'm not that type who judge a perfume from its bottle.
but my first impression about this perfume was about the font on the bottle box that didnt make me like to try it, it is funky, messy, and i expected the perfume to be the same ... but it came clean, nice, cheerful, delicate, tranquil, beautiful ... it's everything beautiful inside a weird unexplainable bottle, same as life, it comes in packages, and inside the package you may find your happiness, but you have to accept the package first with all the ingredients inside it, then open it & explore it, love it & cherish it ... there is one ingredient i don't like about this perfume and the good thing is; it's just in the middle notes so it doesn't remain too long, it leaves me after couple of hours, sometimes i never sense it & it leaves me with the rest of this beautiful smell the rest of my day ... this perfume definitely reflects vibrant life as it smells for me, and the day i wear it, i know it's a day full of a lot of things & a lot of changes. ...


Chance ( The Flowery )

Finally Chanel had a chance from me to love one of their perfumes, it's casual & youthful compared to other Chanel perfumes. i always feel their perfumes smell old & more suitable to my grandma ... i dunno!
i love every thing about this perfume, its name, smell, simple elegant shape, colour ...
at every spray i'm reminded that there is always a new (Chance) for new things even if it was delayed ... i remember that i'm a being associated with aromatic odours, I love scented candles, cards, papers, pens, sprays, foams, lotions, and all   & the smell brings those fantasies about the life rising from its dormant & a luxurious perfumed chance inevitably coming my way ...



The One ( The Oriental Spicy )

The one thing that will happen once, and never becomes twice, the life distinction and individuality in this so much replicative wolrd ... having a look on the once in a life time chance ...

reminded as well with the contradiction between this freakish prevailing belief of the continuous run behind the distinct one life, one style, one notion, the one and only power ...   and the beauty of the ordinary life taking as it's with all its boring repetition, and customizing it to one's sets...

From the varied fruit of  life, to the flowery aromatic life chance, to the spicy distinction of The One in lifetime ...
From the fruity to flowery to oriental spicy perfumes, to the changes of the days & trippings of this year, this year which will remain in the memory of history as a first chapter of an unfinished book ... and a final word for the citizen of Egypt, Let us be fragrances, that will hang around and linger for every passerby, illumine the world with our truth yet conjure up the spirit of those patriotic days...

P.S
a personal advice about a perfume not  to buy ... its Top Notes is really nice but what comes next is not as good & it's not well concentrated, so it doesnt stay more than 2-3 hours at most!
-Believe by Britney Spears ...
in celebrities' perfumes lines, it was hard for me to find a perfume that is consistent & clean smelling, except Angel & Alien by Thierry Mugler

Recommendations ...
- D&G
- Burberry
they never fail to make all their perfumes as beautiful as forever


Looking forward to the year 2012 and marking it with a new scent, titled with the name "Be Delicious by DKNY"

Have a coming fragranced year full of love, hope, and happiness ...

Leave your fragrance here ... and if you like you may mark it with a "Name" ...


I'm hooked on this song  ....



20/9/2011   5:30 PM
I'm back again to writing, I wonder if there is anything special in the things I write or the things I wrote in the past … one idea or two? but should I in first place write something useful, we write to help ourselves and if that mission is successfully accomplished, then we are half the way through, and it's up to others to read it, like it, or ignore it …
when I decide to put my fingertips on the keyboard and I start hitting the letters to form words then phrases then paragraphs which will make sense at the end, I don’t need to be having a certain idea to write about, it's like today I'm writing about writing &about how sometime this process is not the easiest thing to do … specially when your mind is out of focus, but you got that feeling which dominates you & make you want to do it anyway ,,, sometimes things come out fine other times it turns into scribbles & blurting, but at least it's the truth about what you have inside …


it's a real killer to be living alone among people, a real killer to hanger to tell what keeps you awake all night, what troubles you, what you actually think about day to day, but you can't. cause simply none is a good listener, none takes your story as it's, cause you know the reaction before it happens but you wish, you wish, something different will happen but everything sums up to your own expectations, and there is nothing more worse than this
a real killer, when they tell you your own story but through their minds, iterative and the versions comes out something so different than what it feels for you, a real killer when they just try to impose their own point of view on you & never try to negotiate what makes you feel better. real killer to keep it all inside, and real killer to think that it will be there where you will take it with you to your grave


Finally, a new book in hand ...
it has been a while since the last novel I read. I have been busy & not busy at the same time, but when I have the hanker to read, when the idea keeps nagging and propagating in my head ... Idrop anything and go searching for an interesting novel. I do have a prepared long list of the novels which I wish to read, but for some reason. I put it aside. My mood needs something more exiting than those, there could be something exciting in them, but it's not exciting enough for me ... so as it always happens I'm between two novels in hand. The first is called "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro. it's a mysterious, sci-fi novel. I already made my way to the third chapter in it. Even so, there was that other novel which I should blame it all on Robert Pattinson :) :) :) :) :) ... I saw a picture of him by chance the other day (Arriving in London's airport for the Twilight Premiere 2008 ) quite old I know, that info doesn't interest me, but what interested me was the book in his hand. It's BIG, and looks intriguing. It's not that Robert Pattinson is reading this novel ( which I think its sales have absolutely taken a big leap after that image ) but I always try to dig for the best novels all the time, and there is a possibility that he also picks a good type of them. Following the novel title and author, and reading reviews about it, it got me more & more curious to read it.

that what is written in the beginning of the novel:

Realizing that death might be near, Roberto left instructions for his novel 2666 to be published divided into five books corresponding to the five parts of the novel, specifying the order in which they should appear, at what intervals (one per year), and even the price to be negotiated with the publisher. With this decision, communicated days before his death by Roberto himself to Jorge Herralde, Roberto thought he was providing for his children's future.

After his death, and following the reading and study of his work and notes by Ignacio Echevarria (a friend Roberto designated as his literary executor), another consideration of a less practical nature arose: respect for the literary value of the work, which caused us, together with Jorge Herralde, to reverse Roberto's decision and publish 2666 first in full, in a single volume, as he would have done had his illness not taken the gravest course.
it's #1 on the top 10 fiction Books 2008 in time magazine and after reading some reviews From The Boston Globe review A liquid masterpiece in five enigmatic parts,
"Reviewing Roberto Bolano's "2666" is like reviewing the ocean. To call it a thing of nearly unfathomable breadth elides the intimacy of experiencing it; to focus on the relentless, pounding rhythm of its violence does no justice to its shimmering beauty."
Dallas Morning News Review "

Roberto Bolaño's posthumous meditation of nightmare comedy and serene fatalism unfolds in texts as variant as the dreamscapes of lonely intellectuals and the political digressions of an ex-con famous for writing cookbooks.

In this award-winning quintet of linked novellas, published after his death in 2003 and just now available in English, the disparate motives of European art dealers, Mexican street vendors and jaded American journalists come to form a tissue of longing".

and that coming review in the time magazine (I skipped the part which I felt as a spoiler) .... I decided to put "Never let me go" on hold & read 2666 by Roberto Bolaño, I'm still in the first chapter.

There could be nobody better suited to describe the hilarious, improbable triumph of Robert Bolaño than Bolaño himself, which is a shame because he's dead. At the time of his death, in 2003, Bolaño was a major writer in the Spanish-speaking world but virtually unknown and untranslated in English. Why that should be is not much of a mystery. Bolaño was a difficult, angry, self-reflexive writer who lived an erratic and occasionally unpleasant life. And Americans, as the head of the Swedish Academy has annoyingly but rightly pointed out, don't read much fiction in translation anyway. (See the 100 best albums, movies, TV shows and novels of all time.)

But when the first of Bolaño's major novels, The Savage Detectives, a massive, bizarre epic about a band of avant-garde Mexican poets, was published in the U.S. last year, it instantly became a cult hit among readers and practically a fetish object to critics. Bolaño's second (and last) major novel is titled 2666, and if anything, it is even more massive and more bizarre. It is also a masterpiece, the electrifying literary event of the year. With its publication by Farrar, Straus and Giroux this week — adding to an oeuvre that includes several collections of short stories, numerous novellas and minor novels, and a volume of poems due out later this month from New Directions — Bolaño's posthumous conquest of the U.S. will be complete.

There is, of course, something incontrovertibly Bolañoesque about 2666 itself: an enigmatic, unfinished novel, translated from another language, orphaned by its author. The world, whose number Bolaño indisputably had (was it 2666? We never learn), has subtracted Bolaño from the picture, and we must read his work in his absence. But in a tragic, paradoxical way, his death completes the book: it touches 2666 with the disorder and rootlessness that is its subject. And what more could Bolaño have told us anyway? With what final wisdom could he have supplied us? Gazing at his ruined geometry book, Amalfitano fantasizes about meeting a 19th century philosopher on his deathbed and asking him for advice. "What would his response have been?" Amalfitano wonders. "Be happy. Live in the moment. Be good. Or rather: Who are you? What are you doing here? Go away."
On the other side, there is something beautiful and nice about twilight cast specially Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, is that they are fairly book-immersed and usually photographed holding a book or a Kindle during their travels or even during the break time in the set. which a something i didn't use to see with other actors, is it an arranged type of ad or publicity ,,, i don't think so, i guess it was unintentionally done, cause it's something they are used to do, Right?

Yesterday I realized a new fact about myself …
I was wondering why I'm always running behind different stuff like my passion for drawing, playing music, cooking, graphic design, photography, video editing and lately fashion, set deign and decoration, making simple bracelets, knitting and crochet

And suddenly it hit me, there is one common thing between all these stuff !!
They are all about creativity, being creative, artistic … I always needed to vent off this energy ,,, and was always looking around me, and inventing new roads to go through it to satisfy me to discharge all this energy, without realizing why do I do it and I sometime was feeling like a failure who doesn’t know what she wants in life, scattered and out of focus … but now I think I have come to a conclusion to all this suffering whenever this energy hits me to surface I won't suppress it, I will only surrender


amongst all the mess that is waking me up late at this hour…
I long for the taste of those days couple of years ago … the taste of the spontaneous dreams, and gatherings, the taste of freedom & openness … the taste of real happiness!

wondering how will i look back to this moment, will it carry good feelings and good memories, after another couple of years, will it be a past one day i will yearn for? .... hope the worst has already gone !!

This review contains a Spoiler … don’t read it if u r going to read the novel.


I have always seen this novel on the Top list of the century Novels, and after reading it, I realized that this novel had indeed deserved it all, and there is something I learned about sci-fic books; that they are not that far from our truth, The ideas emerged through Orwell's novel written in 1949 are practically at our doorsteps right now.

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH



the price of security is freedom. George Orwell's depiction of a nation whose philosophy of using war to maintain peace is ironic through the noel's plot, But extremely scary in reality!!! Remember the announced motives behind the wars on Iraq !!

its humbling truths can be applied through culture to all generations, it provides a poignant and essential messages about the oppressive nature of (any) government, the power of rhetoric to manipulate truth and enslave the mind, and the dangers of succumbing to forces claiming to protect your individuality when, in reality, they seek to dehumanize you in a heartless attempt to push a hidden agenda.

it's cynical, frightening, bleak and strong, ultimately beautiful spun. I liked the author's point of view & how he managed to plot it in an easy profound way. you can never feel boredom across the novel or expect what comes next, the progress of his characters through was intense…I was able to visualize it and feel it … maybe the ending is the one thing I didn’t like, I'm not sure I see it as the worst, yet I can see it as the best ending … there is still possibility for a better ending, yet another surprising one, but the ending as it's was still surprising, I was crushed when I read the last line! “He loved Big brother.” the protagonist could not lose after fighting so hard. but if just one final line is all what I didn’t like about a novel, it's still fair enough to give it a five stars.

this is just a brief quick note … I have more to say about this novel … so I may update this later

**************************************

Some of many quotes I liked …

  • "Big Brother is watching"
  • "—if all records told the same tale—then the lie passed into history and became truth. 'Who controls the past' ran the Party slogan, 'controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.'"
  • "If the Party could thrust its hand into the past and say this or that even, it never happened—that, surely, was more terrifying than mere torture and death."
  • "It was like swimming against a current that swept you backwards however hard you struggled, and then suddenly deciding to turn round and go with the current instead of opposing it. Nothing had changed except your own attitude; the predestined thing happened in any case."
  • 'Do you remember,' said O'Brien, 'the moment of panic that used to occur in your dreams? There was a wall of blackness in front of you, and a roaring sound in your ears. There was something terrible on the other side of the wall. You knew that you knew what it was, but you dared not drag it into the open.
  • 'You could not create such a world as you have just described. It is a dream. It is impossible.'
'Why?'
'It is impossible to found a civilization on fear and hatred and cruelty. It would never endure.'
'Why not?'
'It would have no vitality. It would disintegrate. It would commit suicide.'



  • "they threaten you with something something you can't stand up to, can't even think about. And then you say, "Don't do it to me, do it to somebody else, do it to So−and−so." And perhaps you might pretend, afterward, that it was only a trick and that you just said it to make them stop and didn't really mean it. But that isn't true. At the time when it happens you do mean it. You think there's no other way of saving yourself, and you're quite ready to save yourself that way. You want it to happen to the other person. You don't give a damn what they suffer. All you care about is yourself.'

  • 'All you care about is yourself,' he echoed.
'And after that, you don't feel the same towards the other person any longer.'
'No,' he said, 'you don't feel the same.'

  • 'At the time when it happens,' she had said, 'you do mean it.' He had meant it. He had not merely said it, he had wished it. He had wished that she and not he should be delivered over to the−
  • And then perhaps it was not happening, perhaps it was only a memory taking on the semblance of sound a voice was singing:
'Under the spreading chestnut tree I sold you and you sold me '
The tears welled up in his eyes. A passing waiter noticed that his glass was empty and came back with the gin bottle.

it's been a while since my last entry here ... my mind feels blank at the moment, and i dont have this feeling which dominates me before writing a new entry, yes, i do feel a huddled distracted huge number of words crowded at the tip of my head ... yearning to be vented off, at this moment i set & start to write, cause by this way only i can discharge them out :D ... but even in every entry the tense of this distraction is variant ... at some entries ( like this one ) the tense is zero.


couple of days ago there was a happy & good family occasion ... it was like a wonderful whiff of exhilaration, is finally about to strike … 2010 starts with a happy family occasion in the true sense of the term … but happiness wasn't revolting at our place, it was mixed with worry, depression & some gloomy stuff that didn't make it purely happy ... something is always missing, and the happiness is not complete!

well, the second thing which actually the thing i wanted to write about it here ... is the book in my hand which i'm currently reading, i was in a mission of searching a new book to read, i pre-arranged a list of 2010 books, they were 12 or so, now the number on my list reached 25+ wow ... i wonder when will i ever find the time to finish all of them!
but in my search mission i stumbled upon a book review, and after reading it, i decided right away to read this book, putting all my other lists & books aside.
the novel is called The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova

Some stories can be told again in endlessly different ways. Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian combines a search for the historical Dracula with a profound sense that Stoker got some things right--that the late Mediaeval tyrant kills among us yet, undead and dangerous. From Stoker, she also takes a sense that the supernatural seems more real when embedded in documentary evidence.

Three generations search for Dracula's resting place, and their stories are nested within each other, so that we know that at least two quests ended badly. Kostova rations her thrills very carefully so that we jump out of our chair at quite slight surprises, especially when we have come to expect buckets of blood and loud bangs. She also has a profound and well-communicated sense of place and period, so that the book is equally at home in 1930s Rumania, Cold War Budapest and 1970s Oxford. Kostova is particularly good on the sights and sounds of remote country places and the taste of real peasant food--this sensuous realism does not always go with her other skill, the creation of imagined documents and folksongs that feel as real and true as what might be actual.

This is a quietly good book rather than a spectacular debut, with some uncomfortable twists in its tail; her heroine-narrators are, and perhaps remain, in the most serious of jeopardies. ---Roz Kaveney
see, this one has it all; suspense, history, exquisite description of places, even food & delicate description of moods & scenes ... the story flew so lightly at the beginning & it did take me with it bit by bit ... after reading the first two chapters i said that's exactly my type of books, i was completely taken by the story and i couldn't put the book down for a minute ... then as i went forward in my reading, till i reached chapter 15, the span of my interest was gradually decreasing till it reached its minimum ... and so now i'm in chapter 36 ... the events are raising & it attracted my attention again. I'm still swaying between the two states along the novel, i feel some mistakes in the novel's plot too.
people emerges out of the blue in a naive way and the heroine or her father stumbles upon them and takes them as a companion, those people are helping them or are having the key to solve the next quest in the novel .... some characters are rising & the main character gets interested in them for no explanatory reason, that was a something which annoyed me in the novel. but there are two good points about this novel, first; this novel is having an eloquent style of writing. second; there are some vagueness which will make you unsure of what will happen next ... although i was able to expect and figure out some stuff before reading them in the novel. but i'm still not sure how will the novel end ...

P.S
hmmmm ... I have a hint about the next book i'm going to read after i'm finished with The Historian, as The historian is such a big book already, over than 700 pages ... i'm planning for a smaller book to read after this one, yet it seems to be interesting too ... i think i will pick "The Hunger Game by Suzanne Collins" this will be the next one on my list.

I'm open to books suggestions and recommendations, i always like that :)

to be continued after i'm done reading the historian.

i'm trying to forget the pain, headache, the silly, sticky, stringy phlegm, and concentrate down here ... i'm in a real bad phase of a wicked subtle cold ... my throat hurts me & my voice is barely audible ... i'm slacking around ... sleepy but can't sleep cause of the uncomfortable, annoying feeling of the pain back in my throat & my body ... oh the easiest most common kind of illness we can't even handle it ,,, we human are so delicate & health is really really precious, that a very tinny virus makes us so helpless, your are living within your body & can't escape somewhere else .... all what i'm doing is keep drinking hot stuff just to distract me from the bad taste in my mouth & numb my throat a bit too ... mint, lemon, tea with cinnamon it's the best ... i really like this one ... i'm up till i'm so tired that will make me fall asleep without realizing, otherwise it's pretty hard to sleep (sight).

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